Food for thought...
Miscarriage, unfortunately still remains something of a taboo subject. Women who have suffered a loss of pregnancy can feel embarrassed and isolated. The aim of this blog is to help get information out relating to the feelings associated with losing a baby, and provide a go to place for individuals, and their families and friends who want to sensitively support them at this time.
Losing a baby due to early miscarriage is devastating. It is not just the physical loss, but the loss of hopes and dreams for the future. Everyone’s experience of pregnancy loss is unique. It is normal to feel a vast range of emotions, and there is no right or wrong way to express your grief and loss, these will vary and be dependent on your own circumstances. Your way may also be different from how your partner expresses their loss. They may be trying to protect your feelings and emotions by not sharing their own feelings, neither is right or wrong.
Some people find it very difficult to know what to say, especially if your miscarriage is early in pregnancy. This can add to your feelings of loneliness or isolation. Others may end up saying the wrong things, even though they were well meaning. Some may be fearful that they might upset you so choose to say nothing. Whichever way people speak with you, these responses can be hurtful; some people just don't understand what your loss means to you and your partner. The Miscarriage Association have launched a campaign ‘Simply Say’ highlighting what might be helpful to #say/#dontsay. Their message is; ultimately each individual is different, listen to them and be guided by what they are needing.
Often individuals find talking about their loss can help. They may find that people can be supportive and understanding. Some may share their own experiences helping reduce the feelings of being alone. There are support groups available, however this is not for everyone, and some women and/or their partners find talking with a counsellor as a couple or on a one-to-one basis can be helpful.
The Miscarriage Association offers a range of online support. www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk.
If you are looking for a counsellor in your area www.counselling-directory.org.uk provides a list of registered counsellors.
I am a counsellor who wants to empower individuals to be the best version of themselves.